I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
