Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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