sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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