I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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