if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
