You can't motorboat a personality
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
