The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
