Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
