dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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