I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
