I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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