genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
