You really coming over, don't trick.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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