went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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