I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
