And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
