So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize