I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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