i think my tv is drunk
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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