dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
