it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize