saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
