About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
