make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
