forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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