Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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