but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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