oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
