Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
