Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize