Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
