When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
