Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
