You made me cry and you don't even care
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
