Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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