The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize