I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
