I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i've created a new STD.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
