I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
