Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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