Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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