Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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