Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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