just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
that's an acceptable place to lick
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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