If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
