butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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