And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
