I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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