i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
