dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
