I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
