She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
