Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
