should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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