would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize