Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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