Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just blew my weed a kiss
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
