Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
