Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is it because I queefed?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
