I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
