How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
