It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
