ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
