i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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