you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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