you will always have a special place in my vag
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
