Pappa wants mamma naked
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
