I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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