i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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