last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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