I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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