i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
