Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
