the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
