i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
