i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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