That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
